Declutter Your Home Declutter Your Marriage

     Is clutter an issue in your home and marriage?  Does your husband refuse to pick up after himself? Are you the clutter-bug? Do you worry about comments from your in-laws regarding the lack of organization in your home? You’re not alone.

     I was raised in a home where cleanliness was next to, well you know. I went off to college and spent the next four years in organization.  Years later I was living on my own in what my friends and family referred to as a showroom of a home.  Today I find myself living with a clutter bug, a collector, a junior hoarder!

     How did it start? Ours was a long-distance love (for a few months, anyway). During which time I asked my soon-to-be husband to please organize and get rid of clutter prior to my joining him. I considered my request to be a simple one.  Go through his belongings and get rid of any clothes he hadn’t worn in over a year, books and magazines he hadn’t read in three and papers no longer required were to be shredded. Anything left was to be organized. I thought it would make our co-habitation a lot easier after the wedding.  The merging of objects like furniture, tools and decorations would be the toughest part.

     Instead I arrived to find not one thing done. Not one paper archived or shred. Not one piece of clothing or binder of a book touched. Upon seeing the look of disappointment and confusion on my face he offered to let me take charge of the whole project. I know, I know – the ol’ Huck Finn. The whole “you do it so much better, sweetie” routine.  Well since he gave me free reign on what to keep or trash I took the ball and ran with it. I saw it as a test in our relationship.  Would I choose to tear him apart or be the bigger person and take on the challenge?  Organize my man, done!

     Fast forward, we find a house and move in. The toughest part should have been picking where to place everything right? Wrong! I found that every time I’d empty a box my husband would show up at the door with three bags from Wally World.  I’d breakdown five empty boxes, the door bell would ring with a delivery – two boxes.  What was going on? Unable to walk through our home without bumping into something and determined to reign in this monster I set up a meeting with my husband. I called him at work at asked him to be sure and come straight home because we needed to talk.   Here’s a little humor – he thought I was going to ask for a divorce. Silly man – he wouldn’t get away that easy.  He would have to put in the work in this marriage, we both would. 

     I sat him down and asked him to watch as I walked around the room. Letting him see how I had to gymnastically approach every turn. Then I asked him if he saw the problem, he nodded. I asked him if he would refrain from bringing anything else into the home until I was done. I didn’t see this as an unreasonable request since I was doing all the work being stay at home wife and all.   He very meekly agreed. I was able to catch up quickly after that.

     This would not be end of the clutter monster. Over the years it has swallowed me up and spat me out several times.  It is the only other thing we argue about minus the in-laws.  I win the battles but never win the war on this one. I don’t believe I ever will. So as the wearer of the Red Badge Of Clutter I will share what works for us.

• Take it one room at a time.
• Get rid of obvious trash first.
• Pull anything else remaining out of the room so you’ll have a clean slate.
• Make three piles – donate, trash, keep.
• Make a fourth pile for paperwork.
• Clean and sanitize the empty room from top to bottom – sweep, mop, vacuum, dust!
• Decide where you want any furniture place then make it happen.
• Start bringing in the keep items that will stay in that room and put it in its place!
• Trash the trash, drop off the donate pile.
• Paperwork – shred, organize, file.

     As always, full disclosure: I get the most done when my husband is out of town. In the beginning, yes I was sneaky. I got rid of small things I hoped he wouldn’t notice that I was positive was trash. Once I saw the light at the end of the tunnel I told my husband what I had been doing and asked for his support.  Some of you may think I should’ve apologized but, yeah, no… I want a clean house!