Do you find
yourself spending most of your married life trying to please your in-laws? This is a mistake - in your relationship with
your spouse and your in-laws. Prioritize
your marriage. By doing so you send a
signal to your in-laws that while I would like to have a good and loving
relationship with you, my spouse comes first.
The result might surprise you.
Most in-law
dramas revolve around the MIL and DIL.
Sometimes all it takes is showing the MIL the dedication you have for
her son. Sometimes she just wants to know you will take care of her little boy. Then there’s the flipside. Nothing you do or say
will ever be good enough. You are forever “the other woman” and nothing else.
This is more of a
reason to focus on your marriage. Focus
on your spouse. I think this is the only
situation where the famous “trickle down” theory applies. Place your marriage first and the
relationship with your in-laws could improve.
Be open to the idea that the positivity will flow.
Don’t make the
mistake of treating your spouse as a piece of furniture in your home. Something you dust off once in a while but
don’t necessarily think about often. Don’t take your spouse for granted.
I recommend
dating your spouse. Schedule a date at least once a month. If you are one of
the lucky ones that can find more time – once a week. You don’t have to spend a
lot of money or any money for that matter. You don’t even need to leave your
home. Have a picnic in your backyard. Have a sip of tea while sitting on your
porch. My husband and I enjoy sitting on
our “lover’s rocker”, just a rocker that sits two, while having coffee and
chatting. Need help getting the conversation started? Ask your spouse about
their day, compliment your spouse on the outfit they are wearing, comment on
the stars in the sky or just look at your spouse and say “I love you”.
Are you a stay at
home spouse, take a few minutes out of your day to show your spouse you
appreciate their contribution to your marriage.
In Robin's Words of
Wisdom for Newlyweds , Robin McGraw shared her idea of having a glass of
iced tea ready for her husband for his arrival from work. Why not? It doesn’t
take up a lot of time but it is a physical and emotional demonstration of your
love and appreciation.
Work outside the
home? Give a long and strong hug to your
spouse before or after work or both! This
physical connection is extremely beneficial.
It shows your love and attraction to your spouse. End the hug with a kiss – cheek or lips, you
decide! Just that small gesture can have
a positive impact on the rest of your day.
Remember that
your goal should be for a loving and spiritual connection with your spouse. If your
in-laws are rational and caring people, they will be pleased to see their child
in such a loving relationship. They will
put aside any concerns or reservations long enough to give you a chance.
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