When things get
tough with your in-laws you may find it easier to take it out on your spouse. After
all they are not your parents. Don’t fall into this vicious cycle. Instead
try to see the lighter side of the situation.
Choose to strengthen your marriage and weaken the hate of your in-laws. As
a child your parents might have given you advice like: picture someone in their
underwear and don’t let a bully win by
letting them get in the way of your good day. Guess what? Your in-laws are your
bullies.
Don’t let them win. Use humor to strengthen your relationship with your spouse and keep things in perspective. Find something in the situation that’s amusing and focus on that instead. Focus on the fact that at the end of the visit you’ll be relaxing at home snuggling with your spouse – their little boy. Oh, like the little engine that could they can try and try but they won’t be able to push you down the track of despair. Take your husband or wife by the hand, kiss them on the cheek and say “I love you”. Hug your husband or wife tight. The more your in-laws try to drive a wedge between you and your spouse the harder you should try to bond with your spouse. The bigger your smile should grow. I laugh all the way to the bank at the look on my in-laws faces when they fail to get under my skin.
Don’t let them win. Use humor to strengthen your relationship with your spouse and keep things in perspective. Find something in the situation that’s amusing and focus on that instead. Focus on the fact that at the end of the visit you’ll be relaxing at home snuggling with your spouse – their little boy. Oh, like the little engine that could they can try and try but they won’t be able to push you down the track of despair. Take your husband or wife by the hand, kiss them on the cheek and say “I love you”. Hug your husband or wife tight. The more your in-laws try to drive a wedge between you and your spouse the harder you should try to bond with your spouse. The bigger your smile should grow. I laugh all the way to the bank at the look on my in-laws faces when they fail to get under my skin.
It’s up to you if
you want to picture your in-laws in their underwear. As for me, I’ve had the
displeasure of actually seeing my FIL in nothing but boxers when he answered
the door, ugh. Does your MIL remind you of an angry little troll that’s missing
her bridge? Try picturing her jumping up and down demanding her six-pence for
crossing. I picture my MIL as a grumpy
four year old stomping her feet because she’s not getting her way. Occasionally
I imagine my in-laws are the Charlie Brown teachers … wah, wah, wah… I like to
look at my husband lovingly in the eyes and softly tell him “I can wait to get
you home”. I swear I hear glass shatter when I pull that one. The best part is
my husband is in on the whole thing. He
knows where I am going with what I say or do. He knows why I’m smiling. He
doesn’t get offended or mad. He smiles or smirks. My husband just appreciates
that I’m not arguing with his folks. And whether he chooses to ever admit it in
public he enjoys watching his parents squirm a little. As a result, we are okay
after the dreaded in-law visit.
"Humor is one of
the most effective tools for keeping communication exciting, fresh, and
healthy. It enriches your interactions and gives your relationships that extra
zing that keeps them interesting, light, and enjoyable. This shared pleasure
creates a sense of intimacy and connection—qualities that define solid,
successful relationships." Authors: Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., Melinda Smith, M.A.,
Jaelline Jaffe, Ph.D. and Greg Boose - Helpguide.org (Follow them on Twitter)
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