Early on in my marriage I discovered the intricacies
of being a sportsman’s wife. It was subtle at first, my introduction to this world
of seasons. It began with Deer Season. My
husband would leave the house before sunrise not returning until after sundown.
Every day except Sunday. All day –
before and after work. I was patient
since my husband assured me he would be more available to me once the season
was over.
But would it be over? You see, the season turned out to be a bit
more complex than I’d realized. There are
categories and subcategories: Archery
Deer Season – Early, Late, Either –Sex Deer, Early Antlers, Urban Archery. Replace
Archery for Muzzleloader, and Fire Arms – same subcategories. Add fishing and bowfishing and it’s easy to
see how the entire calendar year can be spent either hunting or fishing.
This hobby suddenly took new shape in my
eyes. It became the enemy. It affected every aspect of our lives as a
couple. It determined when and if we
could accept dinner and party invitations.
Whether or not he would be home for dinner. Vacation plans. Family planning.
If and when household chores got done.
After several months of waking up alone
and several lonely dinners I asked my husband when hunting season would be
over. I’d long since understood to ask specifically about Deer Season wouldn’t
get me anywhere. Remember – Small Game,
Big Game, etc. “Soon” he said with a smile.
I should have realized then that I was in
for more than I’d bargained for. Deer
Season begins in October and ends in March.
Enter Bowhunting. Fishing Season –
pretty much year round. Woke up alone, ate alone, woke up alone, ate alone. Ah, the cycle of life. Or the slow death of a
marriage?
After all hobbies should not take up as
much or more time than a full-time job.
Hobbies should not cause you to regularly miss dinner. Hobbies should not fulfill you and make your
spouse feel “less than”. Hobbies should not cost hundreds or even thousands of
dollars a year.
“You knew I was a sportsman when you married
me.” I kept trying to figure out a good response that would not end our
marriage on the spot. “Stop trying to
change me.” Change, no. Fix, ok maybe.
Maybe I was guilty of that one.
Desperate to find a way of spending more
quality time with my husband I did what any red-blooded American woman would
do. I stood by my man. I stood or low crawled by my man during hunting season.
I stood or sat by my man during fishing season.
I channeled Sun Tzu. “It is said that if you know your enemies and
know yourself, you will not be imperiled in a hundred battles; if you do not
know your enemies but do know yourself, you will win one and lose one; if you
do not know your enemies nor yourself, you will be imperiled in every single
battle.” Basically, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Hunting and fishing were my enemy.
What did I learn? I learned that my
husband used most of this time to sit in quiet reflection. He enjoyed the peace and quiet of the woods
and water. I also learned I didn’t like
ticks crawling on me, climbing up a tree stand, coming face to face with a
really pissed off squirrel while laying in the prone position and I really, really didn’t like hooking and
unhooking a fishing line. I considered never
going hunting or fishing with him again. Demanding he stop hunting and
fishing. Let him find this quiet
reflection with me at home!
To
everything there is a season, turn, turn, turn!
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