My MIL Translated - What MIL's Really Mean

MIL Says:     I just love that color on you!

MIL Means: You look like a banana.

MIL Says:     It sure is lively in this house.

MIL Means: These kids are out-of-control little animals.

MIL Says:     Isn’t that outfit just adorable.

MIL Means: Why are you dressing my grand-daughter like a boy?

MIL Says:     I never would’ve thought of cleaning that way.

MIL Means: I do it better.

MIL Says:     Why don’t you wear make-up more often?

MIL Means: You look like a clown.

MIL Says:     Are those new earrings?

MIL Means: Can’t quit spending my son’s money can you?

MIL Says:     I can’t wait to see what you’ve made us for dinner.

MIL Means: Where’s the Pepto?

MIL Says:     Are you not feeling well today, dear?

MIL Means: You look awful. 

MIL Says:     Oh, is that how you load the dishwasher?

MIL Means: You’re doing it wrong.

MIL Says:     I’d be interested in seeing the recipe.

MIL Means: I have to figure out where you went wrong.

MIL Says:     Nice picture of your folks.

MIL Means: I don’t see any of us.

MIL Says:     Wow, it’s late. You’ll be staying for dinner, right?

MIL Means: What are you still doing here?

MIL Says:     I didn’t know you hired a cleaning person.

MIL Means: Explains why you haven’t bothered to clean.

MIL Says:     Isn’t that original?

MIL Means: Wrong, wrong and wrong.

MIL Says:     I like the slim look on my son.

MIL Means: Even he can’t tolerate your cooking.

MIL Says:     Did you get a new vacuum cleaner?

MIL Means: You need to – this carpet is filthy.

MIL Says:     That’s an interesting show you’re watching.

MIL Means: That explains why the kids get bad grades.

MIL Says:     Does that come in other colors?

MIL Means: The one you picked is awful.

MIL Says:     You’re parents are visiting? How nice.

MIL Means: Crap, now I have to be nice.

MIL Says:     That’s a lovely new hairstyle. I wish I were young enough to wear it.

MIL Means: You aren’t either, find a new do.

MIL Says:     I’ll do those dishes for you – you’ve done enough tonight.

MIL Means: At least the dishes can be cleaned right – that meal sucked.

MIL Says:     My son looks handsome with his hair longer.

MIL Means: He can’t afford to get it cut because you spent his money on those new shoes.

MIL Says:     My son fills those pants out well.

MIL Means: Stop feeding him take-out. Learn to cook.

MIL Says:     My grandchildren sure look taller.

MIL Means: It’s your fault I don’t see them enough.

MIL Says:     I don’t mean no harm by it but…

MIL Means: Anything after this will always be an insult – no need to translate.

MIL Says:     Such beautiful smiles.

MIL Means: Take my grandchildren to a dentist.

MIL Says:     I’m so glad my son married you.

MIL Means: I’ll be even happier when he leaves you.