Understand
your money style. Money styles
can clash and create conflicts in your marriage. Take some time to figure out how each of you
view money. Dr. Ken Doyle, Psychologist and Financial Planner
(University of Minnesota) wrote a study I found interesting. Here’s what I took away from it:
There are four basic types of money styles - the analytic,
driver, expressive and amiable.
Analytic – This style sees money as control. They are usually good money planners because
they take into account long-term goals.
Driver – This style sees money as success. They are typically seen as materialistic as
they tend to show off their acquisitions (new car, expensive clothes).
Expressive – This style sees money as acceptance or self-esteem.
Amiable – This style sees money as affection.
Dr. Doyle has some easy tests on his website to help get
your started -
The Meaning of Money Website (couples
and individuals tests) and Psychology of Money (helps you
figure out what money means to you).
Work together. Once you understand how the other sees money,
it will become easier to make mutually beneficial financial decisions. Try sitting
down and creating a budget. Be honest
with yourself and your spouse when disclosing how and where you spend the
money. Come up with a system of tracking
expenditures that you can both agree on.
Write a little note to yourself on the back of the receipt to remind you
later of the exact expense (i.e. gas, cigarettes, work-related journal).
Before the economy took a nose-dive, my husband and I played
on our individual strengths differently.
He is not a very good money manager.
His motto is “You can’t take it with you”. My motto is “I like to eat” – it’s
interesting how money helps you do that, hmm?
As the economy changed and I had to tighten our financial belts resentment
began to take hold. We found ourselves
getting angry with each other often. He
thought I was being unreasonable and cheap.
I thought he was being inconsiderate and selfish.
Finally, we sat down and had a real conversation. I explained how the downturn in the economy
was affecting us financially. I took the
time to show him our electronic budget so that he would have a more tangible
understanding of our situation. Remember,
some people are more visually oriented. To
my amazement his eyes widened as he saw how much money he was spending on
cigarettes, coffee and his hobbies. I
explained that these were areas he could control unlike fixed expenditures
(like a mortgage). By allowing him the
opportunity to have access to the same information I did, I gave my husband more
control. As for me, I gained a partner
instead of an enemy. This is a work in
progress – we are constantly figuring out ways to save money, change and adapt.
I suggest a monthly review of y our
finances. A couple that budgets together, stays
together!
How has the economy changed your communication style with
your spouse? Share your tips on what you think works.
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