2 Easy Ways To Improve Your Marriage Relationship

Be sensitive to your spouses’ needs.  Don’t fall into the trap of hearing what you think he or she is saying.  Take the time to really listen.  Have an open heart and you will understand what your spouse needs from you. 
For example, if your wife asks you to take out the trash she is asking for your help.  She is not punishing you or trying to ruin your day.  Remove yourself from the situation for a moment and realize that in a marriage there is no starring role – each person is a supporting cast member.  You are supporting each other.

Ladies, if your husband says he can’t clean the garage this weekend, don’t let yourself become upset.  Instead take a deep breath and ask him calmly why that is.  Don’t assume he is simply trying to get out of doing his part in the relationship.  There might be a good reason – he may not be physically up to handling this project right now.  Most men don't want their spouse to know they are hurting.  Most men see it as a sign of weakness and they want to at least have the appearance of strength for their wives.  Suggest he start off by going through items he may want to discard.  Leave the heavy lifting for another day.  Another suggestion is to Huck Finn the scenario – “I think you’d be better at organizing the garage”.  Then there’s the teamwork option:  offer to help him so you can get done faster and have the rest of the weekend to relax.

Improve communication.  Don’t be scared it’s really easy - just use more than one word responses.  If this concept seems daunting, start off small.  Make it a goal to respond to questions with three sentence answers.  Soon you’ll find yourself chatting with your spouse like you used to before you were married.  Remember when you looked forward to talking with your spouse?  Remember when saying “I was thinking of you today”, “What did you do today”  or “You look upset, what I can do to help” were part of your wooing process.  You know, before you put a ring on it! 

If you were your friends, you would find anything and everything to talk about.  Your conversations will last for hours.  Your spouse doesn’t want or need hours.   A few good minutes of honest communication goes a long way.    Start off by talking about your day.  Slowly work your way into conversations about the children, budgeting, long-term and short-term goals.  Soon you’ll find yourselves rushing home from work just so you can share in that closeness.

How do you initiate conversations with your spouse?  What kinds of things do you talk about?  What do you find keeps the conversation flowing?  How has this improved your relationship?  How do you show sensitivity to your spouses' needs?  I invite you to post your comments and share your advice.