Improve Your Confidence In 5 Easy Steps

      Ever notice how your body language changes at the mere thought of a visit with the in-laws?  Find yourself being sucked into an argument when two minutes ago everything was coming up roses? Show your in-laws you are confident in yourself and your marriage in 5 easy steps!

     Shortly after my marriage my husband commented that I had changed and was getting negative.  I took stock of myself and realized it was true.  I was letting my in-laws contaminate the water in my marriage well, mess with my Kool-Aid!  Now I make it my goal to use the tools below with every interaction. The result?  One happy - and so far - happy marriage. 

Maintain Eye Contact – Don’t look away from your in-laws during the visit.  This is not to say one must stare rudely.  Simply don’t give in to the temptation to look at every object in the room until they either change the subject or leave.  Don't let them know they make you uneasy.  Make an effort to look directly at them and appear interested in the conversation.  You might find out you share a common interest, hobby or belief. Let yourself be open to a pleasant surprise.

Uncross Those Arms! – Have you ever noticed how quickly the mood changes once someone crosses their arms?  This can signal disinterest or defensiveness to those in the room.  Let your in-laws know you welcome their presence instead of bracing for a fight.

Smile – Stop before you react poorly to a comment or suggestion by your in-laws.  Think about something funny or happy.  A smile can be contagious –watch as others slowly begin to perk up and crack one of their own.  This also has the benefit of leaving your in-laws with a confused look on their faces.  They expected a direct hit and instead found you wearing your in-law armor. Your smile!

Be True To Yourself – Don’t put yourself down.  Review your good qualities – go ahead give yourself permission to know you’re wonderful, beautiful and smart. Notice how others will pick up on this and the mood in the room may go from gloom to glam!

Be quiet! – Before you respond to that nasty comment take a moment to consider the consequences.  Is it worth ruining the rest of your day?  Silence can mostly be your most effective weapon.  It gives you time to properly consider your response.  It shows your husband you’re not the one picking the fight.  It shows your in-laws you are in charge of you. They do not have the power to get a rise out of you. Do not give them access to your buttons.  After all, it’s what your parents are for!